Being trans: the position of transgender people in EU society

• Author: Directorate-General for Justice and Consumers (European Commission), ICF
• Pages: 33-108

Legal gender recognition in the EU: the journeys of trans people towards full equality

June 2020

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PART I – BEING TRANS: THE POSITION OF TRANSGENDER

PEOPLE IN EU SOCIETY

Part I of this report focuses on the situation of trans people in different areas of society,

namely education, employment and later life. It begins with a chapter on the

experiences oftrans people when coming out and transitioning.

2 Coming out as trans and transitioning

This chapter explores the experiences of coming out and transitioning that transgender

people shared. It considers how individuals became conscious of their gender identity,

the most common ages at which this happened, and the wide-ranging reactions of

family, friends and strangers. It also present s (less common) stories of those who

became conscious of their gender identity and came out as trans in later life. It ends by

highlighting positive ways to support trans people when coming out .

2.1 Coming out processes

Coming out takes man y forms. Initially, transgender people become conscious o f their

gender identity over ti me. They may choose to disclose this to others, coming out to

friends and family by discussing their gender identity with them, or demonstrating it as

part of their gender expression. Another facet of coming out is public life, where

transgender people often have to disclose their gender identity involuntarily. If a trans

person does not ‘pass’ then they may be forced to come out about their gender identity

when questioned by others, or they may have their transgender status revealed by their

official documents. Individuals who ‘pass’ and have official d ocuments reflecting their

gender may still have to decide wh ether to come out about their transgender status o r

transgender history to new people, such as colleagues or medical prof essionals.

Many trans participants noted that coming out processes can be complex, entailing

many phases. This is su pported by existing research, which suggests that the coming -

out process is it erative and ongoing, arising in various settings throughout the life

course, including the home (Watts et al., 2017; Dierkx and Platero, 2018; Catalpa and

McGuire, 2018), educational settings, workplaces (Phoenix and Ghul, 2016; Beauregard

et al., 2016), healthcare services (Lindroth, 2016; Bristowe et al., 2018), and, in older

age, in the context of retirement and social care services (Siverskog, 2014; Leyerzepft

et al., 2018). This is explored further in the following sections.

2.2 Becoming conscious of, and exploring, your gender identity

The FRA survey data below shows that in all legal clusters and in the EU-28 as a whole,

the greatest single group of respondents realised that their feelings about their gender

did not match th eir assigned gender when they were aged 10 -14. However, this also

commonly occurred among individuals in other stages of childhood, for example the age

groups 0-5, 6-9 and 15-17. In other words, most trans individuals will have realised

that their gender does not match that assigned at birth by the time they are 18.

Legal gender recognition in the EU: the journeys of trans people towards full equality

June 2020

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Figure 2. Age when in dividuals first realised that their gender did not match that

assigned at birth, EU-28 (%)46

The breakdown by gender identity group shows that there are variations (see Figure 3

below). Trans men and trans women realise that their gender does not match that

assigned at birth at a younger age than non-binary respondents and cross-dressers.

Figure 3. Age when in dividuals first realised that their gender did not match that

assigned at birth, by gender identity group, EU-28 (%)47

46 Source: FRA (2019). EU LGBTI Survey II. The question asked: ‘At what age did you first realise

that your feelings about your gender did not match the gender assigned to you at birth?’. Base:

Trans respondents to the EU LGBTI Survey II (n=19,445). EU-28 weighted average.

47 Source: FRA (2019). EU LGBTI Survey II. The question asked: ‘At what age did you first realise

that your feelings about your gender did not match the gender assigned t o you at birth?’. Not

shown: “prefer not to say,” “Age 0-5,” “Age 25-34” and “Age 35-54” for polygender respondents,

“Prefer not to say” for trans men and trans women, and “Age 55+” for all respondents due to

small sample sizes. Base: Trans respondents to the EU LGBTI Survey I I (n=19,445). EU-28

weighted average.

5.1%

16.4%

15.4%

26.0%

15.2%

11.7%

4.9%

4.8%

0.5%

prefer not say

Age 0-5

Age 6-9

Age 10-14

Age 15-17

Age 18-24

Age 25-34

Age 35-54

Age 55+

6%

4%

7%

9%

8%

21%

24%

9%

7%

15%

13%

18%

19%

18%

13%

12%

17%

12%

12%

16%

29%

31%

23%

27%

23%

26%

20%

29%

12%

15%

20%

18%

12%

19%

17%

21%

9%

7%

18%

12%

13%

15%

16%

10%

4%

2%

7%

6%

8%

5%

4%

5%

2%

4%

12%

5%

5%

0% 10% 20% 30% 40% 50% 60% 70% 80% 90% 100%

trans woman

trans man

non-binary

cross-dresser

genderqueer

gender-fluid

agender

polygender

Prefer not to say Age 0-5 Age 6-9 Age 10-14 Age 15-17 Age 18-24 Age 25-34 Age 35-54

Legal gender recognition in the EU: the journeys of trans people towards full equality

June 2020

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Similarly, throughout the interviews and focus groups for this study, most participants

noted that they started to become aware of their gender identity in early childhood,

when they were younger than 10. Some transgender people hav e been aware of their

gender identity since their earliest memories, from as young as tw o years old.

‘It began with my early childhood memories which always felt off. I always wished to

be a girl because the life I had to live didn’t feel real, it didn’t fit and it was very hard

to bear [...] I simply failed as a boy because I was always beaten and chased home

and belittled by PE [Physical Education] teachers, or in the street men would stop me

and call me a “faggot”.’

Woman with a trans history, aged 55-64, residing in Germany (cluster 3)

‘At an early age I knew I was in the wrong b ody, but my parents insisted on raising

me as a boy.’

Trans woman, aged 26-34, residing in Hungary (cluster 3)

‘When I was a three-year old little boy, I told my sister that I was a girl and wanted

to be treated like that by her and the rest of my family, but after that everything was

forgotten. My family has always been very transphobic…they never pai d attention to

that.’

Trans woman, aged 25-34, residing in Spain (cluster 2)

The language used by participants to describe the early childhood period was of feeling

that ‘something was not right’, f eeling ‘different’ or feeling ‘disconnected’ to their sex

or gender assigned at birth. Some participants experienced rejection of their emerging

trans identity from their family (see Section 2.3). For some participants, this was only

clear later, when reflecting back on their childhood after having come out as

transgender.

For some trans individuals, initial awareness of their ident ity in early childhood was

sometimes accompanied by feelings of frustration or failure that they had not ‘lived up’

to societal expectations of their assigned gender. Some incidents related to playing with

toys that were stereotypically associated with another gender, internalising comments

from adults about what was ‘appropriate’ behaviour, or experiencing exclusion from

gender-segregated activities, such as team sports.

‘Looking back at phot os of myself as a five or six-year old, I see how obvious it was

that I was a boy…I tried to accept my sex [assigned at birth] during my teenage years

by growing my hair out and wearing female clothes but this didn’t work out. ’

Trans man, aged 18-25, residing in Belgium (cluster 5)

‘I’ve known since I was little […] that something was off. But then […] everybody was

certain I was supposed to be a boy, so I didn’t question it. […] I remember when I

was, like, seven and I kind [of imagined] that every boy felt like this and nobody

talked about it. I remember telling my mum […] She […] became like really upset and

told me never to tell anybody…Yeah, so that’s what I did… [I had] all these feelings

my whole life. I hoped th ey would go away but they never did. I never really knew…

I’d heard the term transsexual and stuff but [it had negative connotations], so nobody

really talked about it except when they made fun about it.’

Trans woman, aged 35-44, residing in UK (cluster 3)

Reactions from family, teachers and peers was key in shaping some trans

people’s initial awareness of their gender identity. Some were punished for

expressing their g ender identity in non-conforming ways and repressed their gende r

expression as a result. For example, one trans woman recalled being punished for trying

on her sister’s and mother’s clothes when she was four. This caused her to feel that her